Born, The Monster Way (Gaga's BTW Video)

Utterly disgusting for her haters, visual haven for her Little Monsters.

Obviously, she never fails to stun her fans in everything occult that she does. The much anticipated music video for BTW, her first single off the album Born This Way premiered 12 midnight in Manila. It's one of those "either-you-love-or-you-hate" MTV. The plot of her 7-minute masterpiece was obviously born out of her mind. Unlike from her previous works, every bit of BTW video has some Gaga-ness' art direction on it. 

THE CREATION. The visual three-minute prologue about how her "race" was concept-ed has shown a birthing Monster (lecturing about slimy mitosis) and a machine gun being pulled out of her nasty cave. I in jest would think she might have drawn her concept
from the book of Genesis and Revelation - the creation of good and the proliferation of evil. The images were so graphic with every frame full of worthy sh*t, you wouldn't absorb it all in one sitting.

BREATHER. Everything was toned down when BTW music was played in the background. Gaga in her signature two piece struts her tattooed body with Laurieann Gibson's eclectic dance routines.  The setting was a dark platform (maybe she's inside a big ovary!) along with her "LGBT"  dancers (who have the same pointed shoulder bones like her.) 

But then there's more; Gaga went a little dark and explored her Goth side. She painted her face like a punk and flirted with the Zombie boy, Rick Genest.The singer has also paid tribute to the late King of Pop Michael Jackson, and surprisingly has impersonated a teary eyed Madonna. Whether or not she has plans to dethrone the Queen of Pop, that i don't know.

Credits:  Lady Gaga 'Born This Way' Music Video Screenshots by Natalie Kuchik

Drugs, Ballet, and Lessons on How to Touch Yourself (Black Swan Movie Review)

Once you go black, you'll never go back.

Darren Aronofsky's staggering presentation of his point of view has become so constrained in Black Swan, every scene will certainly be savored with breathtaking suspense. His clever and cunning concept has achieved its goal of letting the viewers decode the truth lost in the protagonist's schizophrenic soul. Being a visionary that he is, the director has again exhibited his improved tone of tension within every frame that will surely make every sane mind question realism.



True to its erotic thriller theme and title, black pitch and dark production design were made obvious throughout the movie - a little predictable but quite understandable.  The arresting musical score "that punctuates each anxiety" in some horrifying scenes has helped a lot in reminding me to get back to my senses.  The film has had its share of weird moments; just consider Natalie Portman's stunning performance. Her multi-faceted portrayal of a tormented ballet dancer is a revelation that surely will ignite anxiety in every living swan in Hollywood.

Simply put, this film has exceeded every viewers' expectations... my expectations. The moment you see Black Swan, you'll be extremely terrified, I warn you: entertaining the idea of watching it again could blow your F'n mind.

'Tanu Weds Manu' Review

'Tanu Weds Manu' Review: A seedha saadha NRI doc Manu (Madhavan) who claims to have resided more than a decade without any close friends in London comes to India on a bride hunt and finds a suitable one in the wispy form of a pot-smoking, vodka-guzzling Kanpuri kudi Tanu (Kangana Ranaut). It’s a mismatch as odd as it gets, because though he falls head-over-heels for this foul-mouthed chatterbox, she is dead against the arranged match and instead wants to hook up with a Lucknow gunda named Raja (Jimmy Shergill).

Manu, the poor soul, nurses the heartbreak and even helps Tanu and her goon beau elope. The plot thickens when Tanu and Manu cross paths against the backdrop of a big fat Punjabi wedding. Love for Manu seems to be taking root in Tanu’s heart, but then Raja rears his head. Drama, peppered with clichéd emotional conflicts and standoffs between the two suitors follow, and, given the film’s title, we know whom Tanu will eventually choose.

The predictability of the plot is well compensated by the melee of oddball characters that director Anand L Rai crowds the story with. There’s is an utterly likeable sidekick (Deepak Dobriyal) and a Sikh friend (Eijaz Khan) of Manu adding fun to the proceedings. There’s Raja’s crony (Ravi Kishen) and Tanu’s best friend (Swara Bhaskar) chipping in from the margins. And full credit to director Rai for the brisk pace at which the first half unspools. Alas, the same can’t be said of the second half, when the story stagnates and we see more of Jimmy Shergill than would have liked to. It’s a clear case of a story losing its steam after a triumphant start. Even the build-up to the climax is somewhat overblown.

Warts and all, Tanu Weds Manu still remains a watchable fare thanks to the wonderfully realistic milieu of India’s crowded, dusty small towns and their middle-class families with their colourful characters that remain pivotal to the story until the very end. On top of it, music by Krsna breezes with vim and vigour. The humour mostly remains light-hearted, sometimes evoking laughs, sometimes falling flat.

Kangana performs well as a small town rebel without a pause. Her body language is decidedly bratty, her dialogue delivery, at times bordering on lisp, creditably raw and edgy to suit her character. Madhavan shines as a submissive, love-struck NRI with no firangi airs. The actor’s naturally charming persona adds tons to his character’s credibility.

On the sidelines, Deepak Dobriyal impresses the most while Ravi Kishan is reduced to a caricature. Jimmy Shergill is all frowns but Swara Bhaskar does leave a mark as Kangana’s friend who tries to hammer some sense into the reckless Tanu.

All in all, Tanu Weds Manu is like the shaadi ka laddoo that you can neither resist nor happily bite into. Make time for this matrimonial comedy if you haven’t yet tired of watching the reruns of Jab We Met.

7 Khoon Maaf Review

7 Khoon Maaf Review: Jesus! I feel bored to death. There’s no bell tower nearby to rush to and vent my indignation nor any spouse to bump off. And though I don’t exactly feel like being punished for someone else’s sins, I am overwhelmingly disappointed to see that Vishal Bhardwaj -- the bellwether of the herd of new-age Hindi film-makers, the auteur who so convincingly brought the Bard of Avon to the badlands of UP -- has now strayed into mediocrity with so artless and heartless a film as 7 Khoon Maaf, his seventh directorial work certainly not deserving of a pardon.

Based on a short story by Ruskin Bond, the movie tells the tale of a woman named Susanna (Priyanka Chopra) who’s decidedly unfortunate in love and matrimony. In her fatal quest for love, she marries six times and every one of her hubbies turns out to be a rank scumbag: be it a lame chauvinist Major (Neil Nitin Mukesh), a junkie rockstar (John Abraham), a sadomasochistic poet (Irrfan Khan), a Russian double agent (Aleksandr Dyanchenko), a Viagra popping lech (Anu Kapoor), or a money-grubbing, mushroom-loving quack (Naseeruddin Shah). Jesus knows who Susanna’s seventh casualty is for Bhardwaj leaves an open strand in the end and gives the bored viewers a teeny quiz to hair-split. That’s the only intriguing part where you snap out of the slumber but soon see the end credits roll.

Granted that a story so episodic as this could not have been told but linearly. But why, pray, is the jumble of Susanna’s matrimonial misadventures reduced to the incessant yo-yoing between her elation at finding the ‘right’ man and her subsequent dejection at the discovery that he’s actually a scumbag. So while the hubbies are kicked to the famished man-eating panthers, or are drug-overdosed, or snake-bitten, or buried alive, or shot point blank, not once does a yawning viewer see a scrap of ingenuity so expected of a Bhardwaj film.

Of course, the bleakly-lit frames and Susanna’s own darkening complexion serve as metaphors to the dark side of her personality, and Bhardwaj does throw in time-references in the tale -- from the falling of the Berlin wall to the Mumbai terror attacks -- but come on, a viewer expects more than such customary symbolism. Even the film’s music gives the impression that its composer (Bhardwaj) was battling a creative block.

A little heart can be taken from the fact that the actors don’t disappoint. Priyanka sinks her teeth into the complex character of Susanna and delivers a performance that makes you forget the film’s flaws for a while. Ditto for Neil, Anu Irrfan and Naseer. Vivaan Shah, who is Susanna’s protégé and the story’s narrator, makes a confident debut.

After hitting the peak with Blood Brothers (a short film I consider Bhardwaj’s best work to date), Vishal has been on a downslide, first marked by the utterly ordinary Kaminey and now cemented by 7 Khoon Maaf. Is the genius of the maverick careening into mediocrity? Was the dream of a bold new Hindi cinema just a chimera?

One thing is for sure. There’s much worthwhile to do with your time than to watch the gloomy tale of an unscrupulous hubby-slaying woman whom you see whirling like a dervish with no less than the Redeemer in the end.

'Patiala House' Movie Review

'Patiala House' Movie Review: From 'Kal Ho Na Ho' to this Kahlon saga about baap-beta stand-offs, director Nikhil Advani has remained an undeviating votary of melodrama. With dogged determination, he has followed the one-point formula through one hit and two massive flops in his career: piping in as much melodrama and tear-jerking moments quintessential to the Hindi cinema genre that’s been dying for years but is yet not fully dead. Patiala House, in that sense, is another salaam-e-kitsch by the director who refuses to throw in the towel or change course despite two rude awakenings from the box office.

'Patiala House' Movie Stills

Times change, people don’t. That’s precisely also the case with Gurtej Singh Kahlon (Rishi Kapoor) -- a proud Sikh in Southall, London -- who has nurtured a visceral hatred for the goras ever since a fatal racist attack on his late mentor (Prem Chopra) two decades ago. Over the years he has grown (rather degenerated) into an autocratic figure whose diktat is the final word in the household called Patiala House, bustling with daughters, ghar-jamais, cousins and a sheepish, servile beta Pargat (Akshay Kumar) who toe the line etched by their bigoted bauji.

Everyone has had to sacrifice some dream. Someone wanted to be a rapper, but is now doing kirtans; someone wanted to be a chef but is making jalebis; someone wanted to be a film-maker but is a cabbie. Most of all, Pargat has smothered his dream of being a pace bowler for England and is now content with an utterly boring and humdrum existence as the keeper of a provision store in Southall. All because of the gora-hating, venom-spewing, domineering bauji.

But then, a young girl Simran (Anushka Sharma) with a questionable reputation prods and dares Pargat to realize his dream and play for the English team against the wishes of his father.

For most of its running time, Patiala House keeps zigzagging between melodrama and light humour. One moment, Advani wants you to yank out your kerchiefs to dry the moistened eyes, the next he tries to regale you with the antics of the Punjabi brood with its bunch of wannabes. That’s the course the film charts for the first half before slipping into a somewhat silly zone in the second half, as the odds and sods of the Patiala House literally run from pillar to post to keep the truth hidden from bauji.